There once was a miniature pig. His name was Hector. Hector
was the cutest little pig you have ever seen! He loved to run down the halls of
his big castle where he lived. He would often wander off to the kitchen in
hopes that the cook would be in there. The cook would always feed Hector whatever his heart desired. He loved the cook dearly and always enjoyed seeing the
sweet little plump old woman with flour on her nose and cake batter in her hair
run around the kitchen throwing ingredients together. However, the person that
he loved most dearly was the King. King Dasharatha rescued him from almost
being butchered after his old owner sold him. Hector tried not to think about
those sad and depressing days because his life now was fabulous. Hector lived
better than most humans thanks to King Dasharatha!
One day, the King came blundering through the Great Hall wailing like a mad man because of his terrible misfortune! Hector was so confused when he saw the King. King Dasharatha was always so happy! After the King had his four sons from his three queens, he was the most joyous man in all the land. He loved his sons deeply especially Rama. Rama was so talented, beautiful, and kind. Both Hector and Dasharatha knew that one day Rama would take over the kingdom and become a wonderful king like his father. But Dasharatha was in deep despair and Hector had no idea why. Dasharatha fell into the chair and Hector went over to his leg to console poor Dasharatha. Dasharatha said to Hector, “Oh Hector! How I am trapped in agonizing pain! I had to send Rama away because of Kaikeyi. She made me make Bharata heir to the throne and cast Rama into the forest. My heart hurts so much. I do not think I can possibly go on.”
Hector was so sad. He loved Rama, too. Rama was always so kind to Hector. He often got that hard to scratch spot behind the ears for Hector. Hector became very angry at Kaikeyi. She was one of Dasharatha’s queens. She was evil but beautiful, intelligent but cunning. Hector could not stand to see King Dasharatha in his current state. He left to go find Queen Kaikeyi.
He found Kaikeyi in her room, trying to think of all the things she could do when Bharata became king. Then, Hector got a great idea. He decided to kill Kaikeyi and Bharata so Rama could become heir to the throne again. So, Hector snuck into the kitchen when the cook was gone and took the rat poison, hidden in the corner of the room, and placed it in Bharata and Kaikeyi’s breakfast for the next day. Hector went to bed expecting to wake up to a deceased Bharata and Kaikeyi. But when he woke up, all he found was a dead cook. The cook had taken the poisoned breakfast and ate it! Hector did not know how to cope with this terrible murder that he accidentally committed. He went into the room with King Dasharatha and wept with him.
One day, the King came blundering through the Great Hall wailing like a mad man because of his terrible misfortune! Hector was so confused when he saw the King. King Dasharatha was always so happy! After the King had his four sons from his three queens, he was the most joyous man in all the land. He loved his sons deeply especially Rama. Rama was so talented, beautiful, and kind. Both Hector and Dasharatha knew that one day Rama would take over the kingdom and become a wonderful king like his father. But Dasharatha was in deep despair and Hector had no idea why. Dasharatha fell into the chair and Hector went over to his leg to console poor Dasharatha. Dasharatha said to Hector, “Oh Hector! How I am trapped in agonizing pain! I had to send Rama away because of Kaikeyi. She made me make Bharata heir to the throne and cast Rama into the forest. My heart hurts so much. I do not think I can possibly go on.”
Hector was so sad. He loved Rama, too. Rama was always so kind to Hector. He often got that hard to scratch spot behind the ears for Hector. Hector became very angry at Kaikeyi. She was one of Dasharatha’s queens. She was evil but beautiful, intelligent but cunning. Hector could not stand to see King Dasharatha in his current state. He left to go find Queen Kaikeyi.
He found Kaikeyi in her room, trying to think of all the things she could do when Bharata became king. Then, Hector got a great idea. He decided to kill Kaikeyi and Bharata so Rama could become heir to the throne again. So, Hector snuck into the kitchen when the cook was gone and took the rat poison, hidden in the corner of the room, and placed it in Bharata and Kaikeyi’s breakfast for the next day. Hector went to bed expecting to wake up to a deceased Bharata and Kaikeyi. But when he woke up, all he found was a dead cook. The cook had taken the poisoned breakfast and ate it! Hector did not know how to cope with this terrible murder that he accidentally committed. He went into the room with King Dasharatha and wept with him.
Author's Note: This story was based off
King Dasharatha in the Ramayana when King Dasharatha had to exile Rama because one
of his queens attempted to make her son heir to the throne instead of Rama.
While following the story in Ramayana I wanted to have a little twist of my own
and create a character for my friend Hector, the miniature pig. Secretly,
I think miniature pigs are the cutest thing and really want one as a pet. If I
had a pet pig, I would name him Hector. I have been seriously considering
getting a pet miniature pig since I live alone. I changed the layout of my
story after advice from my peers. The main purpose of the story was to point
out that two wrongs do not make a right, and you should not fall to someone
else’s level by getting even with them just because they did something wrong
because in the end you are the one that ends up getting hurt the most. I think
the story of Hector’s terrible loss of the cook signifies this. Not only did
Hector have to see King Dasharatha in despair and deal with the loss of Rama,
but he also lost his great friend the cook.
Bibliography: PDE Ramayana, Laura Gibbs, 2014
A murderous pet pig. That is awesome. I really like seeing a tangential characters in stories and how they are affected by what is going on with the main story line. The fact that you had the pig try to murder someone for revenge only to end up killing one of his favorite people is too good. And when the king died, I half think this is the type of unstable mammal that would commit suicide too. Does he take a flying leap off the tallest tower? Or into the hottest oven?
ReplyDeleteOne thing though for future writings. You may want to break up the writing into different paragraphs. I believe it a Stephen King or Dean Koontz interview I read once about this. The reader wants to feel a sense of accomplishment. By having a number of paragraphs completed or chapters completed the reader feels like they have accomplished a task and thus feel good about themselves.
ReplyDeleteAlso I love the background of the blog, but it is hard to read the test with it. You might want to consider putting a background color for the text.
Hey Jordan! I really liked how you had the story come from the point of view of the pig, Hector. Very creative. It was interesting to see the heartache of the King from an animals eyes. I do, however find it odd why exactly the King would save just the one pig, and not more if he had the ability. Though I do see the same with dogs, we normally just save one or two so we don’t end of having to take care of a ton of dogs…maybe next time explain why the King was compelled to save this particular pig. I do love how the pig is so human, planning a murder with rat poison. I love it.
ReplyDeleteI also think you should break up your story a little more. It is a little hard to read one huge block of text and this story could easily be broken up.
Great job on this story! I like how you switched the focus to a character that wasn’t really in the original, but from his point of view you still capture the main idea of the story. I really thought Hetor was going to be successful in his attempt to kill Bharata and Kaikeyi. That twist definitely caught me off guard. I look forward to reading more of your stories throughout the semester.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how you centered the story on a character who remains without a single line of dialogue throughout the plot. Adding a totally new character adds new perspectives to be explored in the story. Specifically, including an animal was effective because it grants a certain liberty for the pig when carrying out his plans. Most likely people are not going to suspect the pig of assassinating royal members of the kingdom. I wonder how the tone of the story would change if Hector was a human. Maybe the story would have ended more to Hector’s liking since he would be able to murder Kaikeyi and her son with his bare hands instead of relying on an uncertain tactic such as poisoning food.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think about the idea of Hector continuing is plans, this time driven by a need for vengeance? I would imagine that he would not fully accept that his own actions led to the cook’s demise. It would not be surprising if Hector blamed the queen for this grave mistake.
Wow, this was crazy creative. I like how you completely made up a main character who is only tangential involved in the mains tory of the Ramayana. I wanted to read your third portfolio story this week, but decided I better go back to this one and read about Hector's first story, and I'm glad I did. This was a very entertaining, light-hearted read . . . until it wasn't! When Hector decide to commit a double homicide I had to do a double-take ahaha! Did not see that one coming, for sure. But I loved it! A homicidal pet pig loyal enough to his master that he's willing to murder to protect him, love it!
ReplyDeleteJordan, I think you did a great job of staying accurate to the story but I like how you did it from a completely separate perspective. Choosing a miniature pig as the main character here was a bold and creative move. I also really like how you modeled in a children's bedtime story type of fashion. It works well since the main character is an animal and not human. Adding the back story of the King saving Hector from being slaughter and extrapolating on the history of Hector's close bond with the cook helped me grasp how close Hector was with both of them. Most of all, I like that you had the story end with a life lesson and that you explained it clearly in the authors' note. Since it was fashioned in a manner meant for children, adding that lesson at the end was the perfect touch.
ReplyDeleteHey Jordan,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story about Hector the pet pig! I thought it was very clever and brought an interesting aspect of loyalty to the story. It was quite a misfortune for him to accidentally kill the cook instead of the evil queen Kaikeyi. I wonder though if you could have brought Rama into the story and allowed for us to see the connection between Hector and Rama. This many allowed for the reader to fully understand the reason why Hector would have put himself in danger by trying to murder her. Furthermore, I am curious to see if Hector continues his plots against Kaikeyi and actually murders her. I think you could write another story with him trying to deal with the accidental murder and him trying to plot another one. Finally, I really enjoyed the dialogue between the two. It was a great way to break up the story itself. Overall, a great story that I really enjoyed reading!
Hey Jared,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the background for your project! It really makes for a nice “storytelling” setting, like you’re about to sit down in an old house and hear stories told by an old man.
Great description of the “plump old woman” with flour on her nose and cake batter in her hair! Little details like this really make the image vivid, and they give the reader an identifier to come back to in their minds when referencing the character.
It was a little confusing when you first mentioned Kaikeyi. I’m assuming from some context clues that she was one of his wives, and so she wanted HER son made heir, but it was a little confusing with several new names at once without a clause to identify them. If you’re going to explain who she is, it should be almost immediately. Also, I don’t think it really makes sense to say “intelligent but cunning,” since being cunning would imply that you are intelligent. Being cunning isn’t really a caveat to being intelligent, like being evil is to beautiful.
I loved the little piggy! He made a great narrator for a more serious story, so it was more fun to read, more lighthearted.
Hi, Jordan!
ReplyDeleteI thought this tale was so great! It was really cool to see the perspective of one of the most well known parts of the Ramayana from the perspective of a very unique and unexpected character—I love that you used a mini pig! While I am not a fan of the huge, adult pigs (they freak me out a little, to be honest), I think piglets and mini-pigs are incredibly cute. I could absolutely imagine this little fella trotting around the castle.
I think you did a really good job of creating a likeable and lighthearted character, while still addressing complicated and deep themes. Revenge of that kind never seems to end well, and the loss of the little piggie’s friend was a really good example of that. Judging by your Author’s Note, that type of message is exactly what you were going for, and you pulled it off swimmingly. Overall, I really enjoyed this. Nicely done!